Vincent Van Gogh, from a letter to his brother, Theo

I want to paint men and women with that something of the eternal which the halo used to symbolize … to express the love of two lovers by a wedding of two complementary colors, their mingling and opposition, the mysterious vibration of kindred tones. To express the thought of a brow by the radiance of a light tone against a somber background.

To express hope by some star, the eagerness of a soul by a sunset radiance.

From "Union," by Robert Fulghum:

You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry…

From that moment of yes to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making promises and agreements in an informal way. All those conversations that were held riding in a car or over a meal or during long walks -- all those sentences that began with “When we’re married” and continued with “I will and you will and we will” -- those late night talks that included “someday” and “somehow” and “maybe” -- and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding.

The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, “You know all those things we’ve promised and hoped and dreamed -- well, I meant it all, every word” …

Look at one another and remember this moment in time.

Before this moment you have been many things to one another -- acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, and even teacher, for you have learned much from one another in these last few years. Now you shall say a few words that take you across a threshold of life, and things will never quite be the same between you. For after these vows, you shall say to the world,

This -- is my husband. This -- is my wife.

We did it!

And it couldn't have been a happier, more beautiful day. Sure, there were hiccups (because there are always hiccups), but everything worked out fine and we had a wonderful time. We hope that those of you who were able to join us had a good time, too -- and thank you so much for sharing this day with us.

We do plan to write here about our experiences that day, post photos and recap our honeymoon. But we've been going pretty much non-stop since we got back, so that'll have to wait a little bit longer until things calm down. (Then again, we have a holiday weekend coming up, which will be great catch-up time.)

Speaking of photos -- We've started a private group on the photo-sharing Web site Flickr to allow folks to view/share photos from the wedding. If you want to join, let us know and we'll invite you to the group!

Meanwhile, if you're interested, you can read the ceremony script, which is a fine mishmash of language and sentiments inspired by or stolen from other scripts we found on the Internet.

OFFICIANT (DARI FITZGERALD)
If everyone can silence their cellphones, we're about to begin. Thank you.

PROCESSIONAL
Music: "Loure" from Bach's "Partita No. 3 in E, BWV 1006," performed by ALYSSA BOXHILL
Groomsmen and bridesmaids walk up the aisle and take their places.
Groom escorts parents to their seats and takes his place.
Parents escort bride up the aisle and are seated. Bride takes her place next to groom.

OFFICIANT
Good afternoon. We have gathered here today to celebrate the marriage of Alyson Hurt and Rob Pongsajapan, and to show our support as they make this commitment to each other.

The essence of this commitment is the taking of another person in his or her entirety: as a lover, a companion, and a best friend. It is, therefore, a decision which is not to be made lightly, but reverently, thoughtfully, and in the knowledge that love is both humankind's highest achievement and life's most precious gift.

Rob and Alyson, have you come here freely and without reservation to be joined in marriage?

BRIDE AND GROOM
We have.

OFFICIANT
Just as all people need love and support, a marriage cannot exist alone. Family and friends who are close to Rob and Alyson share a responsibility to help their marriage grow. So let me now address the family and friends who have gathered: Will you support this couple and help their marriage grow?

WEDDING PARTY
We will.

OFFICIANT
It is appropriate that you, Rob and Alyson's family and friends, are also here to participate in this wedding. The ideals, the understanding, and the mutual respect, which these two bring to their marriage have roots in the love, friendship, and guidance, with which you have provided them.

Rob and Alyson, we share your joy. We wish for you a love that makes both of you better people, a love that continues to give you joy and zest for living, and a love that provides for you the energy to face the responsibilities of life together.

Rob and Alyson have asked their friend Michael Phillips to read this selection:

READER (MICHAEL PHILLIPS)
Treat yourselves and each other with respect, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together. Give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness, and kindness that your connection deserves. When frustration, difficulties, and fear assail your relationship -- as they threaten all relationships at one time or another -- remember to focus on what is right between you, not only the part which seems wrong. In this way, you can ride out the storms when clouds hide the face of the sun in your lives remembering that even if you lose sight of it for a moment, the sun is still there. And if each of you takes responsibility for the quality of your life together, it will be marked by abundance and delight.

OFFICIANT
Alyson and Rob have selected vows that they would like to read.
Officiant hands notecards with printed vows to the couple.

GROOM
I promise to love and care for you and I will try in every way to be worthy of your love.
I will always be honest with you, kind, patient, and forgiving.
I promise to try to be on time.
But most of all, I promise to be a true and loyal friend to you.
I love you.

BRIDE
I promise to love and care for you and I will try in every way to be worthy of your love.
I will always be honest with you, kind, patient, and forgiving.
I promise to keep a sense of humor.
But most of all, I promise to be a true and loyal friend to you.
I love you.

OFFICIANT
From the earliest of times, the circle has been a symbol of completeness, a symbol of committed love. May the rings which you give and receive this day always remind you of the commitment to each other that you have made today.

GROOM
Alyson, I give you this ring to wear as a symbol of our love for each other.
Rob puts Alyson's ring on her finger.

BRIDE
Rob, I give you this ring to wear as a symbol of our love for each other.
Alyson puts Rob's ring on his finger.

OFFICIANT
Do you, Rob, take Alyson as your lawful wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do you part?

GROOM
I do.

OFFICIANT
Do you, Alyson, take Rob as your lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do you part?

BRIDE
I do.

OFFICIANT
Rob and Alyson, you have expressed your commitment to each another through your vows. By the power vested in me by Arlington County, I now pronounce you husband and wife.

RECESSIONAL
Music: "Gavotte en Rondeau" from Bach's "Partita No. 3 in E, BWV 1006," performed by ALYSSA BOXHILL
Exeunt Bride and Groom.
Exeunt Bridesmaids and Groomsmen.
Exeunt parents of the bride and groom.
Exeunt officiant.

And I know it's going to go by in a blurry-eyed flash.

First things first: Breakfast. Then appointments at the salon. Then take care of some last minute-details, head over to the house, take photos.

And then the main event.

Still so much left to do. All the big things are taken care of, but there are little things -- such as printing/folding programs, assembling bouquets and the small matter of writing vows -- that still must be tackled.

This evening we had the official "meeting of the parents." Rob and I had been stressing over it for a while, but it actually went really well.

Whenever I need a minor panic attack, all I have to do is check the countdown graphic on Annie's blog. (She and her fiance Dan are getting married the same day as Rob and I.) Right now it's saying "6 days until our wedding." Yipes!

In all honesty, though, things are going pretty well in the wedding planning department. Everything big is taken care of now, and we've been steadily whittling down the list of small tasks. My mom's arriving tomorrow evening, which should be a great help: She'll be able to take care of some things on Tuesday and Wednesday while I'm still at work, and she can help me with final errands on Thursday before everyone else arrives. (Plus, my mom and I get along pretty well anyway, so it'll be nice just to spend some time with her before this weekend's craziness hits full-force.)

Six days and counting. Whew. I'm getting tired of all this planning and talking about planning. Can the day just get here already? Because I'm so ready.

We walked over to the Arlington County Courthouse this morning to take care of all outstanding legal matters pertaining to the wedding.

Back in January, we asked our good friend Dari if he would officiate our wedding. In Arlington County, ordinary citizens can be sworn in by a representative of the court to perform a single marriage ceremony. The process: Applicants submit a petition to the court requesting the legal authority to officiate a wedding, along with a copy of a court order for the judge to sign. (The clerk's office gave us an example petition and order on which to base our own paperwork.) Once the petition is approved, the court mails the signed order to the prospective officiant. Then the officiant returns to the county clerk's office to take an oath and pay a bond, which will be returned when the signed marriage license is turned in after the wedding.

We really liked the idea of having a close friend officiate our wedding rather than a minister or justice of the peace that didn't really know us. And Rob and I have known Dari about as long as we've known each other: The three of us started jobs at George Washington University right around the same time back in 2003, and in that time our friendship has evolved from lunch break commiseration to weekly outings to Kabob Bazaar and viewings of The Office.

So today we made an early-morning visit to the Clerk of the Court's office to have Dari sworn in -- as well as procure our marriage license. Everything went pretty quickly, and we left the office within 20 minutes, legally powered officiant and unsigned marriage certificate in hand. Out of everything we've done so far -- the invitations, the rings, the wedding dress -- seeing our names printed together on a marriage license has come closest to impressing upon me the "realness" of this thing we're undertaking. It's official, and it's happening soon. Still, I felt a glimmer of giddiness cut through the momentary sobriety. The big day's only three weeks away, and I can't wait.

We've put together a guide to some of our favorite places in D.C., including must-visit places of interest and spots that have particular significance to us. We hope you'll find it useful!

The City Guide at washingtonpost.com also offers a helpful listing of events going on in the D.C. area the weekend of our wedding: April 28 | April 29 | April 30

Also, if you're staying at the Hilton Garden Inn in Arlington, we're putting together a map of amenities near the hotel, including restaurants and Metro stations.

If you have any questions about getting around D.C. or general tourist tips, send us an e-mail -- us [at] robandaly [dot] com -- or just leave a comment here!

But just having the dress hanging in the doorway of my closet all day Friday and Saturday has served as a tangible reminder that -- wow -- this wedding thing is actually happening, and soon. And while the dress fits now, it would probably fit even better if I actually commit to that whole "working out" / "eating well" plan I'd intended to start back in August. Best laid plans and such...

I made a quick appointment with the David's Bridal in Springfield for alterations. With any luck, they'll be done as promised on April 19. Ten days before the wedding is cutting things a little close, but hopefully (::knock on wood::) everything will work out as planned.

We ordered simple white gold bands last week from Blue Nile, where Rob had bought my engagement ring. They really seem to have their act together, with great communication and super-fast shipping. (And, as a happy bonus, I found a coupon code online that got us 10 percent off the price of our rings.)

My wedding ring is about the same size as my engagement ring, but it feels a little heavier somehow. It definitely felt strange to try it on. Just like the engagement ring and the "fiancéé moniker, wearing the wedding ring and role of "wife" is going to be a bit of an adjustment. I don't think things are really going to change for me on a day-to-day basis just because I've gotten married ... but at the same time, the very notion of "wow. married." and all that marriage entails is a bit weighty.

We've had to ship Rob's ring back because his is just a mite too small. Blue Nile is going to exchange it for a ring that's a half-size larger, and we should be getting the new ring within a week or two of them receiving the original.

Unfortunately for me, the song Rob and I have chosen for our "first dance" at the wedding reception is a foxtrot.

In preparation for that first dance, we've signed up for a four-week class in foxtrot, waltz and single-step swing through the Dance Factory, a studio in Virginia Square that Allison and Adam recommended to us.

I'm so glad that we took our introduction to ballroom class last spring, or else we would have been pretty lost in our first class on Tuesday, during which our teacher sped through the basic steps of the rumba and the foxtrot.

Our dance instructor also required us to periodically swap dance partners, which was a strange, awkward experience for me. (In the first dance class we took, through the city of Alexandria, Rob and I just danced with each other.) In most cases, we avoided smalltalk and, eyes fixed steadfastly over each other's shoulders, concentrated on our own steps.

The one time I tried to be friendly and congratulate a partner on his mastery of the basic rumba steps, he stumbled and we had to start over again. A few minutes later, when the song ended, he told me, "Do you know why that worked? You didn't open your mouth."

I felt no guilt when I noticed that he didn't have a partner for the next dance.

On the upside, the basic rumba and foxtrot steps came back pretty quickly. And when I really concentrated, I didn't stumble all over myself. Concentration is key.

That, and practice. We need to make a point to do that this time, or, come April, we're sunk.

Instead of ordering a big, fancy wedding cake, Rob and I decided on something a little more in keeping with our "finger food" theme: an array of cupcakes and pineapple buns, set out on a cupcake tree. (A Chinese dim sum staple, pineapple buns are like less-sweet custard donuts. Their name comes from the crinkly texture of the top of the pastries, not any kind of pineapple taste.)

I considered ordering the famous CakeLove cupcakes, but the per-cupcake price and the hassle of having to pick them up in D.C. on the day of the wedding led us to instead choose Heidelberg Pastry Shoppe, an Arlington-based German bakery I'd heard good things about.

There was a good bit of confusion when we got to the bakery -- not realizing at first that there was a woman specifically tasked to deal with weddings and special orders, we took a number and waited our turn in line -- but once we sat down with our sample cupcakes, all was fine. The original cupcakes we'd reserved to taste -- one yellow, one chocolate, both with white icing and blue flowers -- were actually kind of disappointing. The cakes themselves -- particularly the chocolate cake -- were splendid. But the icing -- and I'm usually a big fan of icing -- was so overpoweringly sweet, it completely obscured the taste of the cake.

While waiting in line, though, we'd also spotted an interesting cupcake with pink-flecked icing (it turned out to be yellow cake with raspberry buttercream icing). That cupcake was perfect, much less sweet than the other cupcakes, but much easier to appreciate. After we expressed our enthusiasm for the buttercream, the woman helping us also brought over a slice of yellow cake with lemon buttercream icing to give us an idea of how that flavor tasted. Yum yum yum.

The final order: 60 cupcakes, 20 each in the following flavors:

• Yellow cake with lemon buttercream icing
• Yellow cake with raspberry buttercream icing
• Chocolate cake with chocolate buttercream icing

After so much sugar overload, we needed something completely different to cleanse our palates -- and detox -- a bit. Since the bakery also had a deli counter, we decided to order lunch there, with me getting a bratwurst (and suppressing a sudden craving for German potato salad) and Rob ordering a chicken curry sandwich. Good stuff -- and I'm looking forward to going back again.

On Monday evening, I went down to Kinko's to have everything printed. I handed my key drive with my PDFs to one of the guys behind the counter, and he sent them to the color printer so I could look them over before putting in my order for the full print run. (Coincidentally, while I was waiting for my proofs, I ran into our photographer and his wife.)

The printouts were disappointing: My light blue had turned to a mucky gray, and everything else was too dark. After revisiting my original files, I was at a loss as to why it had come out this badly, when I had used the same colors and settings from the "Save the Date" cards. I went back to the counter and asked a second Kinko's tech for advice. He suggested that the problem the printer calibration, but he couldn't say when a technician might be in to service the printer.

Suppressing the urge to snark about how it doesn't look good for a print shop to have a color printer so badly out of whack, I went home to ponder my options.

Following Dari and Rob's suggestion that I revisit Kinko's at a different time of day, I stopped by on my lunch break yesterday. I ended up talking to the same tech that I'd spoken to Monday, but this time, the proofs came out perfectly, the colors bright and crisp. (My happiness came in stark contrast to the rising fury of the couple behind me, who were throwing a fit at another tech because there was a problem with binding their 600 multi-page wedding invitations.)

Kinko's finished my order a few hours earlier than expected, so I stopped back on my way home from work. Everything came out just the way I'd wanted it. And, whether by mistake or out of generosity, they even cut everything up for me and didn't charge extra for the service, thus saving us a long evening of fussing with the now-to-be-returned paper cutter.

The next task, for this weekend: Addressing and stuffing envelopes.

Hilton Garden Inn – Arlington Courthouse Plaza
1333 North Courthouse Road
Arlington, Virginia 22201
Tel: 1 (877) STAY-HGI | (703) 528-4444

Our group rate is $105/night for April 27-May 1.

To reserve, call 1 (877) STAY-HGI or reserve online using group code HPW. To get the group rate, you must reserve your room by March 27, 2006.

We’ve reserved a block of 30 rooms, some with one king bed, and some with two double beds. If you have any particular preferences, or if you want adjoining rooms, please let the reservations agent know when you book the room.

The Hilton Garden Inn is located two blocks from the Courthouse Metro station (on the Orange Line). The hotel offers free parking, depending on availability. All rooms include a microwave, minifridge, iron and hairdryer.

More Local Hotels
Distance based on proximity from the wedding site.

• Holiday Inn – Rosslyn (2.1 mi)
• Marriott – Rosslyn (2.4 mi)
• Best Western – Key Bridge (2.5 mi)

• UOWedding - An application for wedding ceremonies in the game Ultima Online. Way too geektastic for me.
• Seussical Vows - Funny wedding vows in the style of Dr. Seuss.